but I needed to make this for myself, you can comment on things, and give your honest opinion, just don't be an asshole about it like most people, this is my fucking blog and i don't care for your negative nonconstructive criticism.
I'm in a point in my life where i'm trying to find myself, i don't know where i'm going nor how to get there. I'm trying to find myself in this journey we call life.
& yes, you may know my name, but not my story <3
As I sit here drunk I admit to myself I feel alone, I am depressed, I dismiss these feelings so I can help whoever needs a helping hand, I like listening and giving advice, yet no one asks me how I feel, I don’t know what to do, I just feel empty and honestly I love the feeling of this numbness thank you bourbon
Jim bean
I haven’t vented in a while so here it goes
Iv been so busy lately I haven’t been thinking too much about my personal problems… I know this is cliche but I really don’t care. I’m honestly lonely and disgusted with myself.. I can see it in my face, legs, and tummy I’m slowly gaining on pound after pound, no I don’t want to be skinny as a stick I want to have curves but at the same time I feel so self conscious about my body lately.. I feel like iv let go, I need to not so much stop eating but eat a significant amount less, I wanna see my beautiful hip bones again… I wanna see my distinctive sharp chin line again… I want my old body back… I’m slowly going back down in this depression again for where I feel completely alone, I feel like an outcast and I don’t know what to do… I’m lonely I’m broken I’m hurt I’m mentally confused on where I’m going what I’m doing… every breath I take I can taste the soothing feel of smoke and the nicotine constantly going through my lungs and ruining my body, yet i don’t care anymore I have smoked over a pack today, I haven’t done that in years. I would vent But no I’m not allowed to or more of I don’t let myself cry I have to be strong, in the rock for my mom who’s going through a bad time in her MS, my best friend who’s going through alcohol addiction and I gotta be alright, I have to play make believe… I can’t have people asking me what’s wrong so I keep a grin on my face almost everywhere I go.. But behind these blue eyes, I’m just broken inside & need direction on where to go…
